Thursday, February 25, 2016

Trump has Small Hands and a Small Wallet


Ben Domenech has a piece in the Transom this morning that suggests attacking Trump in the manner of Trump.

This may seem unpresidential in the scheme of things. But it is not the case in this cycle. Going after Trump on Trump’s term will require behaving in a way that any traditionally minded person will find appalling – but it would make for must see TV. Take the flamethrower to him. Interrupt him constantly. Belittle him. Insult him. Play on his very obvious insecurities. Give him a nickname – just start calling him “Marla”, without any explanation, and pretend you don’t even realize it. Don’t let him talk. Bash him for hiring foreign workers.  Bash him for loving Planned Parenthood.  Bash him for his obsession with Megyn Kelly. Make note of his stubby fingers and small hands – we all know what that means. When he responds with ever-increasing insults and shushing, tell him to go get his shinebox.

Of all people, Mitt Romney is your guide at this moment, hinting that the “bombshell” in Donald Trump’s undisclosed tax returns is that Trump is not as rich as he claims to be.  Do you want to know why we know this is Trump’s soft underbelly? A few years ago, insult comic Anthony Jeselnik told Joan Rivers that when he roasted Donald Trump on Comedy Central, he was told the only thing off-limits were jokes suggesting that Trump had less money than he claims.  Not his family, not his kids or his parents – his net worth was what he chose to be off-limits.
I agree. Go full Trump on this rectal orifice. You can get under his skin. The reference to the size of his hands is from a Vanity Fair article. People magazine summarized:

For the last 25 years, Donald Trump has been sending pictures of his hands to Graydon Carter to prove his fingers are properly proportioned, the Vanity Fair editor has revealed.

The bizarre, decades-long feud between the journalist and the billionaire presidential candidate began when Carter wrote an essay for Spy magazine calling Trump a "short-fingered vulgarian," Carter wrote in this month's editor's letter. 
We'll see. It would be fun to watch Cruz or Rubio giving Trump the Trump treatment.


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